SUPER LOVE FOR SUPER SEX/LOVE-MAP LANDMARKS: DESCRIBE YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT
by admin Posted in General health
AUTOEROTIC BEHAVIOR
Masturbation is one of the most difficult of all topics for couples to discuss. If your own religious orientation forbids it, it is still an area in which you most likely have strong feelings. I will discuss this further in Chapter Twelve, but for now, discuss it with your partner. You do not have to share what you do, just how you feel.
Remember, autoeroticism is not limited to self-stimulation of the genitals. Taking a long, sensuous bath or shower is a form of autoeroticism. Feeling the wind in your hair (no matter how thin it is) can be erotic. Do not let the genital orientation of our society trap you into the same limited view of you enjoying you, of giving you permission to stimulate yourself.
“I think it is disgusting, unnatural, and a complete waste of time,” said the wife. “I don’t know why anybody does it, and certainly people don’t do it if they have someone.”
Her husband said in his private interview, “Sure I do it. Three or four times a week. It has nothing to do with her or our sex. I just like to look at a few pictures and get off.”
The impact of such different views, totally unshared, is clearly important to marital sex. “At least it’s a cheap date,” said one man during the interviews. “No risk of disease, and you don’t have to get up and get dressed afterward. In fact, you don’t have to get undressed at all.” Humor, comfort, fear, shame, and other emotions are evoked when the topic of self-stimulation is raised. Our love maps are influenced strongly by such feelings about our right to self-pleasure. Don’t let fear prevent you from discussing this issue with the one person with whom you should be able to share anything.
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